We still remember the words the priest uttered when imposing the ashes on our foreheads when we were children – “Remember man that thou art dust and unto dust thou shall return”. These words of our priest, though very meaningful did not mean much to us at that tender age. When we were young, we were full of strength, energy and vitality. Death appeared alien to us. We considered ourselves to be strong and invincible and we continue to enjoy life to the fullest.

Today being much older, inflicted with so many ailments and our vitality is rapidly draining away, we realize that death is something a real and imminent. We have already witnessed the death of many of our friends and relatives, some of whom were very dear to us. Today what our priest proclaimed on every Ash Wednesday has become more significant.

The imposition of ashes reminds us, despite our social status and glamour, that we are all mere mortals and our physical bodies, however strong and beautiful, would perish one day. Today we may be alive with great power, wealth, beauty and strength but tomorrow our bodies may be reduced to nothing but dust. Reflecting on those words of the priest makes should make us realize that greed for material comforts of our mortal bodies is indeed foolish. In fact it is more important to cultivate the love of Christ that is within each and every one of us, which will bring everlasting rewards from God.

Today we take leave from our jobs to fast, abstain and receive the ashes without fail, but has the significance of the act really touched us in the way it should? Many of us don’t even know what the priest is saying or doing. We receive the ashes because it is a trend which we have to follow like we did as children.

This is the reality of the fast moving world today, to follow the trend in order to be accepted into the system. The trend involves rampant breaches of God’s laws – greed, lust, cheating, corruption, adultery, hate and violence; in fact the list is endless. The sad thing is that we are slowly but surely beginning to accept these “sins” as norms with total disregard for the teachings of Jesus but still claim to be his followers. We are tempted to follow the trend as if we don’t we’ll be left behind in this keenly competitive world.

Life has become a keenly contested race which we have to win at all times and at all costs to protect and safeguard our mortal bodies. We are least perturbed that by our win someone else more deserving may have lost, which does not seem to bother us. The real test of our faith is whether we can go against the trend to be magnanimous to allow someone more deserving than us to win at times.

As Christians can we say “NO” to this worldly trend and follow that set by Christ? Let’s pause to reflect on the true meaning of the words that we will once again hear this Ash Wednesday as we receive the ashes on our foreheads, “Remember man that thou art dust and unto dust thou shall return”.

Let this Ash Wednesday be a reminder that our mortal bodies are not going to take us far in the Kingdom of God. May those words give us some strength and courage to say “NO” to the material trend that is fashionable today. May they give us some meaning in the direction we are heading in our own lives.

Dr.Chris Anthony

I received a sms from a friend urging us to continue praying for the Appeals Court to uphold the verdict of the High Court to allow Herald to use the world “Allah” in its publication. In the message he says that the best approach to the “Allah” issue is the way of Jesus – pray and fast.

Yes we are all praying that the verdict will be in our favor. Who does not want to win anyway? Here we should pause and ponder on what Jesus himself did when he was brought to be tried for blasphemy. Did Jesus pray and fast to win his case? He did pray and fast not for winning his case but to prepare himself for the ultimate sacrifice for us, the death on the cross. He knew he is going to be humiliated, tortured and crucified and he needed all the strength and courage to accept that unjust verdict without a fight. He knew he had to go through the harshest punishment without anger or hatred but only forgiveness and love for his “enemies”.

Today we are faced with a similar predicament in the dispute over the word “Allah”. We are asked to give up the word, not our lives unlike in the case of Jesus, for the comfort of our neighbor but we are unwilling for many reasons. Now we are asked to pray and fast to gain victory but will prayer and fasting per se bring us the victory we all long for?

Prayer and fasting to obtain what we want, to my mind, does not seem logical and sound. It would be acts of selfishness if we do that for such purposes. Instead praying and fasting should be means to prepare ourselves mentally and physically to sacrifice something that we treasure for the sake our love for our neighbor, who could even be our enemy.

Following Christ is not keeping our gains to ourselves but to give up some of our victories to our neighbor in move to allay his fears and anxieties. Being Christ-like is to adopt the humane values of peaceful coexistence with our neighbors and even our enemies.

Our Muslim neighbors, especially those from PAS have acknowledged our right to use “Allah”. All they ask for is time for many among them to fully understand that our demands are not sinister.Will it be too much for us to give in to their requests for lasting peace and harmony?

Our nation is going through some really difficult times and we must do everything possible to ensure peace and harmony is maintained at all costs. Let us pray and fast if necessary that God will give us the wisdom, strength and courage to sacrifice something we treasure badly, the word Allah in this case, as a gesture of love to our neighbor which is what this year’s Lent in particular and Christianity in general is all about.

When we were young we strived very hard to achieve success which we believed could bring us lasting happiness. We worked very hard and many of us may have been rewarded with success after success and that to great extent brought us the happiness that we longed for. We established a happy family with our spouse and children. We watched the children grow and their every success added additional happiness in our lives. At that tender age the kids followed whatever we say without questions. There was absolute obedience and blind loyalty. Our family was our world then and it was the source of all our happiness. We become convinced our family was a really blessed one as God seemed to be answering all our prayers.

As we reached our middle age and our children leave home for the college we are happy and we use all our life savings to sponsor their education in the best universities. We even mortgage all we have to provide their education as we believe they were our best investments. For many parents their problems begin when their children leave college and become independent adults.

The following story is about such a happy family which has been thrown into sadness, disarray and chaos by the rebellious and stupid behavior of the eldest child which happens to be girl. The parents of this girl are well respected people with a good standing in society. They brought up their children in a very loving and united manner where they were provided for all their needs. Abundant love was in the air which they all enjoyed and appreciated during their childhood. To the children the world centered around their parents whom they considered were the best in the world.

The daughter being the only girl had a special place in their hearts in particular the father’s, who used to support her all the way sometimes rather blindly and continue to do so even today. She was so attached to the family that she refused to go overseas to pursue her education despite getting excellent results. When she first left for a local college she broke down and wept so much when the parents left her in the hostel. There was so much sadness in the family for the subsequent few months due to this separation which was the first such experience for the family. The daughter even confessed she refused to go overseas because she could not bear the pain of separating from them even for short period. That much love she had for her parents and siblings.

The parents and daughter communicated by phone few times a day and they went down to visit her almost every other week, travelling about a 1000km each time. Life went on well with for more than a year until the daughter fell in love with a married man with children of her age. Her parents, who lead a life of high morals, were overwhelmed with shock and disbelief when they came to know of the daughter’s unbelievable act.

Divorce and adultery which they strongly disapprove and condemn have become a reality in the life of their own daughter whom they brought up with great love and affection. The dreams they had for her were suddenly squashed and for them it was as though the world has come to an end. Despite advising her to stop the relationship with him she continued secretly for the next 2 years, until she said she could not forget him.

Soon after graduation, she started working and earned quite well but refused to forgo the relationship with the man. Despite many attempts trying to reason out with her, she did not want to see any logic in what they told her. Her disobedience and rebellious behavior caused chaos in the family. Everyone in the family, including her, was sad and depressed. The happiness in the family that was the envy of many was lost and the parents kept praying hard and doing all they could to change her mind.
Will the daughter ever come to her senses and get out of her wrong decision in life? Will she ever repent and make her parents and her family happy once again? It remains to be seen?

Why do children change so drastically from being highly obedient to totally disobedient individuals? How can they lose the tremendous respect they had for the parents just like so suddenly? How can they fail to understand the agony the parents are going through, the same parents whom they loved so much earlier? Why do they refuse to see the wrong that they are doing? These are some of the questions that pass through my mind as I try to analyze the above story.

This is a typical story of a child who for some reason got astray and refuses to see the sadness and sorrow in the faces of her parents. To the child it is nothing wrong in going out with a married person but to the parents it is seriously wrong and an act of betrayal that cannot be forgiven. Every family these days may have such a child who causes great pain to the parents. We may say it is the generation gap that adopts a new value system that may be alien to the parents but where will it all lead to?

One of the greatest challenges to parents today is to bring up the children to become successful people. Many parents go through so much pain for the well being of their children. They spend sleepless nights taking care when the children are sick. They cry when the children are in pain or meet failures of some sort. They slog day and night to earn enough to make their lives comfortable at the expense of their own health.

Parents do all these not because they want to be rewarded by the children later but because of the boundless love they have for them. Unfortunately many such parents are ignored and not given the due respect they deserve for all that they have done.
The parents don’t ask for money, comforts or food. All they ask for is for the children to continue giving them the due respect by listening to them on important issues in life especially when they are obviously wrong. It is behaving like children again that give them the happiness that they long for. Is that too much for the children to give to the very people who have sacrificed everything in their lives for their well being?

The High Court verdict favoring the Christians on the Allah issue has been largely magnified and politicized by many quarters for their own benefits. It resulted in the firebombing of several churches all over the country. It was interesting that although the majority of Muslims were not comfortable with the idea of Christians calling God Allah but nevertheless the vast majority of them strongly opposed the attacks on churches that followed. These acts of arson were condemned severely by many Muslims themselves including many prominent Islamic scholars, leaders and politicians from both sides.

The reconciliatory gestures and goodwill of moderate Muslims towards Christians that followed were unbelievable and unprecedented. The peaceful and mature response from the Christians appealing for calm and forgiveness too was encouraging. The whole episode though undesirable, brought positive results for the future of inter-religious relations that form the basis of long term peace and harmony in multi-racial and multi-religious Malaysia.

The courts are not the best places to solve inter-religious disputes especially in our country, where politicization of almost every institution has eroded their integrity. Furthermore race and religion are rather emotional and sensitive issues that can only be solved by dialogue in the spirit of goodwill and brotherhood. Unless we can create an environment of goodwill and brotherhood there will be no compromise which is so vital for overcoming inter-ethnic conflicts.

Well we have passed that stage and now the High Court has decided in our favor but the Umno-led government and politicians are not ready to accept the verdict and have appealed against it. There is a high possibility the appeal will be upheld and we will be back to where we started but minus the goodwill we had with the government. Where do we go from here? The only way forward is dialogue, Muslim, Christian and Muslim-Christian and ultimately inter-faith which more Muslims are beginning to accept.
For the Muslims in the country this issue has divided them in terms of their opinion regarding the court verdict. Since then have been attempts by moderate Muslims to organize dialogue and debate among them in a peaceful and civil manner with regards to the legal, religious and socio-politic implications of the High Court verdict. This is indeed encouraging as it may be the beginning of the moderates taking control to lead them into the middle path.

There seem to be general agreement among the Muslims that historically the word Allah has been used by non-Muslims all over the world. However they seem to be alarmed at the thought of it being used here. This is basically due to deeply rooted fundamental insecurities with which Malay leaders must come to terms. From a very young age the Muslims are segregated and taught that Allah belongs to them alone and non-Muslims are to call God by other names. All of a sudden when the latter want to claim Allah as also theirs, it is only natural for them to react with suspicion and anger.

We see some positive signs and we must give them time which is always on our side. Let us find ways to strengthen the moderate Muslims further and not weaken them by demanding that our rights be granted immediately. By doing so we would only be playing into the hands of the minority extremists who would not hesitate to use violence to stop us from being granted our rights.

It is also timely for us Catholics and Christians of all other denominations to get together like our Muslim brethren to find a common middle ground in dealing with this and many other inter-religious disputes in the country. We have a God-given opportunity for us to unite despite the differences among us and we must not foolish to let it pass. If we who believe in Jesus cannot unite in his name, it would be naïve of us to expect to unite with those who do not believe in him.

At the same time as Catholics we must examine ourselves to see whether we ourselves are taking a moderate stand which we expect the Muslims to so. Do we see the logic and reason of those who differ from us? Are we reasonable in our demands from others? Are we listening to those we claim to serve?

We will most likely reach a deadlock in the Allah dispute if the Appeals Court squashes the High Court judgment. What next for us? Fr.Lawrence Andrew S.J, the editor of Herald, did the wiset thing by agreeing to the stay of the High Court judgment and refrain from using Allah while waiting for the appeal. We should continue refraining regardless of the outcome of the appeal and try to build on the unexpected goodwill shown to us by many fellow Muslims for long term peace.

The proper thing for the Church now is to go back to its people for internal dialogue and debate to get their feedback and opinion. It is the people who are affected by what the Church does not the clergy who hardly deal with fellow Muslims. It is the people who live, work and interact with Muslims day and night. It is their children who play, eat, study and grow up together with Muslim children. How can they do these in peace and harmony if there is so much mutual suspicion and ill-feeling among them in the neighborhood, offices, schools and places of work? Unfortunately such dialogue and debate are never a practice in our Catholic Church.

The clergy, who represent the people, must consider the people’s interests in whatever actions they resort to in disputes that the church may encounter from time to time. These should not be seen merely from a legal, historic or theological aspect but from a humane one that takes into consideration the good human values of peaceful co-existence – a considerate and caring attitude that tries to understand and allay the fears and anxiety of one another, however unreasonable they may be, especially those from a different race and creed.

Dr.Chris Anthony

Many people pass us by in our lives but often only the bad draw our attention whereas the good people pass by without us noticing them. This is because of the humble nature of the latter. We are too busy with our lives that we fail to pay any attention to them. If only we pauses a while and reflect on their goodness we may be better persons in this world, where the good seem to be rarely appreciated and rewarded. The bad on the other hand seem to be rewarded with one success after another. Every person, big or small, weak or strong, rich or poor, has something to contribute to us, the good must be an example of what we should be and the bad of what we should not be.

Mdm.Q is one such person who crossed my life whom I consider should be an example of what we should all ape. She may not have high academic qualifications, no position of power or wealth but she remains a living example of what a human should be – live to benefit someone else other than your own self and family. She may not have a towering physique but she possesses the great virtues that many of us badly lack – discipline, righteousness and kindness.

Mdm.Q is now in her fifties and lives with her family, a husband and three beautiful children. Since her marriage at the age of 26 she ploughed her way through life with the man she chose to build a successful and happy family which meant everything to her. Her family was her life and it was the centre of the world for her. She gave everything she had for the well being of her family.

Since she got married she adopted her husband’s family as her own. She never stopped her husband from helping his family but only encouraged him to do more for them. This is a rare situation these days where the daughter-in- law creates a lot of problems for the family into which she gets married, which results in the breakup of a once happy and united family.

In the case of Mdm.Q, she is so close to her in-laws that they confide more in her than their own children. Her late father-in-law had such an exalted opinion of her which he confessed during the final days of his life. To me this speaks volumes of the inherent goodness of Mdm.Q who goes out of the way to offer her services to anyone whom she meets not just her children or members of her own family.

Mdm.Q has a very special love for her children. She takes great pains to ensure all their needs are taken take of – food, clothing, and health and she is particularly a good companion for them. Food has always been a very important component of her love. When she got married she did know how much about cooking but today she is a fantastic cook able to prepare any dish be it Indian, Chinese or Western cuisine. It was all because of her love for the children that inspired her to go all out to learn cooking the hard way of trial and error. Although many have tasted her food there is yet one to say anything negative about her cooking.

She wakes up every day before five in the morning so that breakfast can be ready before the children to go school. She continues to do that religiously day after day without fail for over 20 years. Even the cockroaches and rats which she fears so much could deter from doing that. I am told one can count the number of days when she had failed to get up in time. Such was her discipline and commitment to her children whom she loved so much.

She left her daughter under the care of her mother- in-law soon after birth as she could not find a baby sitter to satisfy her requirements. When she realized that her daughter was not getting enough of her personal attention, Mdm.Q willingly gave up her job without making a fuss unlike many others. From then on she became a full time housewife to take of her children which she did excellently and continues to do so till today. She often describes her job as a homemaker as more important and challenging than being an income earner which we all will agree.

She slogged day and night to build her beautiful family into a united and tremendously happy one that was the envy of many, friend and foe alike. God was so happy with her but He wanted to reveal more of her goodness for others to follow and so He decided to give her some greater challenges in her life in the form of her children.
He sons did not do that well in their studies as expected in our materialistic, competitive and selfish society. However they were great in ways that are far more important than academic excellence. Their love, obedience and loyalty to her are more valuable than all the As in examinations. Mdm.Q accepted their shortcomings with so much humility and full trust in God believing that He has His strange ways of rewarding people who do good without any ulterior motives. I am very sure the Lord will reward her for this unshakable trust in Him in the near future.

Greater challenge and shock came in the form of her daughter who made a very major mistake in the choice of her life partner.The daughter’s choice breached every principle in life that were so dear to the mother – righteousness, honesty and high morals. The choice upset her so much that she was terribly shaken mentally, emotionally and physically. It is strange and puzzling that despite all the love and sacrifice rendered in bringing them up some children turn out to be disobedient and rebellious. This is the greatest pain that Mdm.Q is unable to endure.

Yet she says she has full confidence that God will bring a change in the daughter for the better. She believes that He will guide her sons to succeed in their lives. She strongly believes that God has His own reasons for trying her. She firmly believes that God will only try the good but will never forsake them when it really matters.

In fact all her children are wonderful in their own ways, being very good and full of love and extremely caring for the mother. They are polite, simple, courteous and always helpful to those in need including the elders, at a time when the young of today have little time for the elderly and infirm. She says she could not have asked for children better than what she has been bestowed. She always has and will continue to have a special place for them in her heart and her only hope is that they too will have one for her in theirs.

The great Chinese philosopher once said “ Do not do unto others what you do not like when done unto you” and Mdm Q is guided by the believe that we must go out of the way to do to others what we would like them to do to us.

Some people are placed in this world to be used as examples for others to admire and follow or despise and reject. Mdm.Q belongs to the former category. She is a classical example who clearly demonstrates my philosophy in life, “Life is a challenge with ups and downs, what is important in this journey is to do the right thing always under all circumstances and God will always be on our side come what may”.

Many people pass us by in our lives but often only the bad draw our attention whereas the good people pass by without us noticing them. This is because of the humble nature of the latter. We are too busy with our lives that we fail to pay any attention to them. If only we pauses a while and reflect on their goodness we may be better persons in this world, where the good seem to be rarely appreciated and rewarded. The bad on the other hand seem to be rewarded with one success after another. Every person, big or small, weak or strong, rich or poor, has something to contribute to us, the good must be an example of what we should be and the bad of what we should not be.

Mdm.Q is one such person who crossed my life whom I consider should be an example of what we should all ape. She may not have high academic qualifications, no position of power or wealth but she remains a living example of what a human should be – live to benefit someone else other than your own self and family. She may not have a towering physique but she possesses the great virtues that many of us badly lack – discipline, righteousness and kindness.

Mdm.Q is now in her fifties and lives with her family, a husband and three beautiful children. Since her marriage at the age of 26 she ploughed her way through life with the man she chose to build a successful and happy family which meant everything to her. Her family was her life and it was the centre of the world for her. She gave everything she had for the well being of her family.

Since she got married she adopted her husband’s family as her own. She never stopped her husband from helping his family but only encouraged him to do more for them. This is a rare situation these days where the daughter-in- law creates a lot of problems for the family into which she gets married, which results in the breakup of a once happy and united family.

In the case of Mdm.Q, she is so close to her in-laws that they confide more in her than their own children. Her late father-in-law had such an exalted opinion of her which he confessed during the final days of his life. To me this speaks volumes of the inherent goodness of Mdm.Q who goes out of the way to offer her services to anyone whom she meets not just her children or members of her own family.
Mdm.Q has a very special love for her children. She takes great pains to ensure all their needs are taken take of – food, clothing, and health and she is particularly a good companion for them. Food has always been a very important component of her love. When she got married she did know how much about cooking but today she is a fantastic cook able to prepare any dish be it Indian, Chinese or Western cuisine. It was all because of her love for the children that inspired her to go all out to learn cooking the hard way of trial and error. Although many have tasted her food there is yet one to say anything negative about her cooking.
She wakes up every day before five in the morning so that breakfast can be ready before the children to go school. She continues to do that religiously day after day without fail for over 20 years. Even the cockroaches and rats which she fears so much could deter from doing that. I am told one can count the number of days when she had failed to get up in time. Such was her discipline and commitment to her children whom she loved so much.

She left her daughter under the care of her mother- in-law soon after birth as she could not find a baby sitter to satisfy her requirements. When she realized that her daughter was not getting enough of her personal attention, Mdm.Q willingly gave up her job without making a fuss unlike many others. From then on she became a full time housewife to take of her children which she did excellently and continues to do so till today. She often describes her job as a homemaker as more important and challenging than being an income earner which we all will agree.
She slogged day and night to build her beautiful family into a united and tremendously happy one that was the envy of many, friend and foe alike. God was so happy with her but He wanted to reveal more of her goodness for others to follow and so He decided to give her some greater challenges in her life in the form of her children.

He sons did not do that well in their studies as expected in our materialistic, competitive and selfish society. However they were great in ways that are far more important than academic excellence. Their love, obedience and loyalty to her are more valuable than all the As in examinations. Mdm.Q accepted their shortcomings with so much humility and full trust in God believing that He has His strange ways of rewarding people who do good without any ulterior motives. I am very sure the Lord will reward her for this unshakable trust in Him in the near future.

Greater challenge and shock came in the form of her daughter who made a very major mistake in the choice of her life partner.The daughter’s choice breached every principle in life that were so dear to the mother – righteousness, honesty and high morals. The choice upset her so much that she was terribly shaken mentally, emotionally and physically. It is strange and puzzling that despite all the love and sacrifice rendered in bringing them up some children turn out to be disobedient and rebellious. This is the greatest pain that Mdm.Q is unable to endure.

Yet she says she has full confidence that God will bring a change in the daughter for the better. She believes that He will guide her sons to succeed in their lives. She strongly believes that God has His own reasons for trying her. She firmly believes that God will only try the good but will never forsake them when it really matters.
In fact all her children are wonderful in their own ways, being very good and full of love and extremely caring for the mother. They are polite, simple, courteous and always helpful to those in need including the elders, at a time when the young of today have little time for the elderly and infirm. She says she could not have asked for children better than what she has been bestowed. She always has and will continue to have a special place for them in her heart and her only hope is that they too will have one for her in theirs.

The great Chinese philosopher once said “ Do not do unto others what you do not like when done unto you” and Mdm Q is guided by the believe that we must go out of the way to do to others what we would like them to do to us.

Some people are placed in this world to be used as examples for others to admire and follow or despise and reject. Mdm.Q belongs to the former category. She is a classical example who clearly demonstrates my philosophy in life, “Life is a challenge with ups and downs, what is important in this journey is to do the right thing always under all circumstances and God will always be on our side come what may”.

Many people pass us by in our lives but often only the bad draw our attention whereas the good people pass by without us noticing them. This is because of the humble nature of the latter. We are too busy with our lives that we fail to pay any attention to them. If only we pauses a while and reflect on their goodness we may be better persons in this world, where the good seem to be rarely appreciated and rewarded. The bad on the other hand seem to be rewarded with one success after another. Every person, big or small, weak or strong, rich or poor, has something to contribute to us, the good must be an example of what we should be and the bad of what we should not be.

Mdm.Q is one such person who crossed my life whom I consider should be an example of what we should all ape. She may not have high academic qualifications, no position of power or wealth but she remains a living example of what a human should be – live to benefit someone else other than your own self and family. She may not have a towering physique but she possesses the great virtues that many of us badly lack – discipline, righteousness and kindness.

Mdm.Q is now in her fifties and lives with her family, a husband and three beautiful children. Since her marriage at the age of 26 she ploughed her way through life with the man she chose to build a successful and happy family which meant everything to her. Her family was her life and it was the centre of the world for her. She gave everything she had for the well being of her family.

Since she got married she adopted her husband’s family as her own. She never stopped her husband from helping his family but only encouraged him to do more for them. This is a rare situation these days where the daughter-in- law creates a lot of problems for the family into which she gets married, which results in the breakup of a once happy and united family.

In the case of Mdm.Q, she is so close to her in-laws that they confide more in her than their own children. Her late father-in-law had such an exalted opinion of her which he confessed during the final days of his life. To me this speaks volumes of the inherent goodness of Mdm.Q who goes out of the way to offer her services to anyone whom she meets not just her children or members of her own family.
Mdm.Q has a very special love for her children. She takes great pains to ensure all their needs are taken take of – food, clothing, and health and she is particularly a good companion for them. Food has always been a very important component of her love. When she got married she did know how much about cooking but today she is a fantastic cook able to prepare any dish be it Indian, Chinese or Western cuisine. It was all because of her love for the children that inspired her to go all out to learn cooking the hard way of trial and error. Although many have tasted her food there is yet one to say anything negative about her cooking.
She wakes up every day before five in the morning so that breakfast can be ready before the children to go school. She continues to do that religiously day after day without fail for over 20 years. Even the cockroaches and rats which she fears so much could deter from doing that. I am told one can count the number of days when she had failed to get up in time. Such was her discipline and commitment to her children whom she loved so much.

She left her daughter under the care of her mother- in-law soon after birth as she could not find a baby sitter to satisfy her requirements. When she realized that her daughter was not getting enough of her personal attention, Mdm.Q willingly gave up her job without making a fuss unlike many others. From then on she became a full time housewife to take of her children which she did excellently and continues to do so till today. She often describes her job as a homemaker as more important and challenging than being an income earner which we all will agree.
She slogged day and night to build her beautiful family into a united and tremendously happy one that was the envy of many, friend and foe alike. God was so happy with her but He wanted to reveal more of her goodness for others to follow and so He decided to give her some greater challenges in her life in the form of her children.

He sons did not do that well in their studies as expected in our materialistic, competitive and selfish society. However they were great in ways that are far more important than academic excellence. Their love, obedience and loyalty to her are more valuable than all the As in examinations. Mdm.Q accepted their shortcomings with so much humility and full trust in God believing that He has His strange ways of rewarding people who do good without any ulterior motives. I am very sure the Lord will reward her for this unshakable trust in Him in the near future.

Greater challenge and shock came in the form of her daughter who made a very major mistake in the choice of her life partner.The daughter’s choice breached every principle in life that were so dear to the mother – righteousness, honesty and high morals. The choice upset her so much that she was terribly shaken mentally, emotionally and physically. It is strange and puzzling that despite all the love and sacrifice rendered in bringing them up some children turn out to be disobedient and rebellious. This is the greatest pain that Mdm.Q is unable to endure.

Yet she says she has full confidence that God will bring a change in the daughter for the better. She believes that He will guide her sons to succeed in their lives. She strongly believes that God has His own reasons for trying her. She firmly believes that God will only try the good but will never forsake them when it really matters.
In fact all her children are wonderful in their own ways, being very good and full of love and extremely caring for the mother. They are polite, simple, courteous and always helpful to those in need including the elders, at a time when the young of today have little time for the elderly and infirm. She says she could not have asked for children better than what she has been bestowed. She always has and will continue to have a special place for them in her heart and her only hope is that they too will have one for her in theirs.

The great Chinese philosopher once said “ Do not do unto others what you do not like when done unto you” and Mdm Q is guided by the believe that we must go out of the way to do to others what we would like them to do to us.

Some people are placed in this world to be used as examples for others to admire and follow or despise and reject. Mdm.Q belongs to the former category. She is a classical example who clearly demonstrates my philosophy in life, “Life is a challenge with ups and downs, what is important in this journey is to do the right thing always under all circumstances and God will always be on our side come what may”.

Forge inter-religious dialogue

The High court decision on the use of the word to describe God did not go down well with the Muslim population. Although many did not agree with the verdict, the majority opted to redress it in a peaceful way. However we witnessed some tense and defining moments due arson attacks on churches by some extremists and opportunists with political motives.

While we feared for the worst, the inherent goodness that ensued from the majority Malaysians, especially our Muslim brethren, saved the nation from the brink of disaster. The vast majority of Malaysians, including Muslims, condemned the attacks in the strongest terms. Many Muslim scholars and leaders had harsh words for those who carried out these attacks.

The Christians on the other hand kept calm and avoided aggravating matters. There was a rare show of concern for Christians by fellow Muslims following the attacks. Despite being deeply hurt, Christians offered prayers for peace and their sermons emphasised on love and forgiveness. On the other hand many Muslim groups reciprocated with gestures of goodwill. Some even volunteered to guard the churches. Even the politicians across the political divide came forward to condemn the attacks and offered aid and reassurance. On the whole an air of repentance and forgiveness prevailed which helped bring the tension down quickly. It must be noted that the moderate majority on both sides managed to take control to deny the minority extremists a chance to disrupt the peace and stability. Moreover it exposed the inherent goodwill in them by their conciliatory gestures that were unprecedented.

The whole episode demonstrated a high level of wisdom and maturity of the people which was underestimated all these years. They have made it clear that they are not going to allow a few opportunists to undermine the peace and harmony that we have cherished all these years. Although these attacks on the church were undesirable and dangerous, nevertheless, it revealed the inherent goodwill in the majority of Malaysians. It also shows that the people are beginning to accept the stark realities of the need to coexist peacefully. They must not just tolerate but accept and respect each other’s differences.

The dispute over the use of a name of God is far from over but with so much inherent goodwill among the people there is a good chance that it can be solved amicably if it is not politicized further. There is a need to understand the emotional and legal implications of the issue on the disputing parties who must compromise. Long-term solution is by means of dialogue and goodwill not legal suits which will only aggravate the tense situation. While I admit we have the constitutional right to use Allah but we must understand its implications in our local context.

The Muslims in Malaysia, we must understand, have been brought up from a very young age that the name belongs to them alone and they have great emotional attachments to it. They are not going to give up their perceived copyrights without a fight which we must avoid at all costs Fortunately we seem to have reached a state where the moderates among them are beginning to see things differently and it is a matter of time they will be prepared to accept others to use the name as well. Inter-faith dialogue that was a taboo before is being accepted by an increasing number of Muslims which is indeed a positive sign. We need patience to achieve an amicable solution in peaceful manner. We have agreed as a sign of goodwill to the stay of the High Court order which is a good and considerate move. When the Appeals Court upholds the appeal it would be wise for us to leave it at that and negotiate to be allowed to use the word in Sabah and Sarawak as it being done now.

Meanwhile let’s work for the time, hopefully after 2013, when we can have a more civil and fairer inter-faith dialogue not only on this issue but many others that we see being unjust to us. As Christians being a party to this dispute what can we do to encourage and harness the prevalent spirit of goodwill that is in the air? The answer to this comes from none other than Jesus himself, who demonstrated to the extreme by his Passion, the two greatest virtues of humility and forgiveness. There is no better time than the coming season of Lent, to adopt these two virtues in dialogue with our ‘enemies’to bring an end to the dispute.

This dispute has revealed a more matured populace which is paving the way for positive political developments towards greater racial and religious tolerance and a multiracial approach in governance. These changes may be slow but with God’s grace, have definitely begun. We should not sabotage these developments by insisting on our rights prematurely as by doing so we would have to take the blame for the perpetration of racism and religious fanaticism that has plagued Malaysians for over 50 years.

Dr.Chris Anthony

The final journey

As I reached the crowded hospital ward, I saw Uncle Paul lying on his bed semi-comatose, gasping and on nasal oxygen. He looked so thin and emaciated that I could hardly recognize him. I held his hand firmly and called him but there was no response whatsoever from him. Then all of a sudden he took a deep breath which was his last. Uncle Paul died peacefully right in front of me. It was as though he had patiently waited for me since his admission for a serious lung infection 3 days earlier. I cursed myself for not going to see him earlier.

Uncle Paul was an elderly gentleman whom I had the privilege of being befriends over the last 2 years or so, having met him on a number of occasions recently. Uncle Paul had journeyed through life for the past 87years until his demise on 15 May 2009.His vast experiences in his life added further to the many lessons I have learnt in my own. I hope a brief description of this wonderful person will enrich your own experiences in dealing with those around you.

I always believe that every human is a marvelous creation of God, who is a chest of knowledge and experience waiting to be tapped. Uncle Paul is undeniably such a marvelous creation of His.
In a world that is so materialistic, so competitive and so advanced in technology, when we are so busy toiling to make ends meet we have very little time for old people like Paul who have nothing valuable to contribute to our advancements. We fail to realize that every human, regardless of race and religion, young or old, rich or poor is a chest of treasure and knowledge for us in life to be tapped for our own benefit and the benefit of those around us.

In fact many of us today do not have the time even for our own aged parents, who have made us what we are now. We find so many excuses to send them away somewhere hoping they would be happier there than being with us. We pass the responsibility to others who may even be strangers, hoping that they can provide better care and comfort than us in our own homes. One such place is the old folk’s homes that are mushrooming all over the country due to the tremendous increase in demand. We may have no choice so do they as all old people will never opt for such a place if only they had a choice to be taken care in their own homes.

Uncle Paul stayed in one such home and he appeared happy to be in the company of fellow inmates. Fortunately he still received his monthly pension to pay for his maintenance at the home. His basic needs were taken care of reasonably well and he was regularly visited by his children, relatives and friends. Some visit him out of duty others out of courtesy but it was encouraging that there were a number of them who did so out of love for him as a fellow human, bringing him food and gifts he liked and missed most. Like all parents, he never blamed his children for sending him there, but we knew that deep inside he missed their continuous company. He missed his home, not just the building but the company of his loved ones.

He lost his wife 20 years ago when she died after a short illness and till his last days he missed her so dearly. At the twilight of life, as his physical and mental faculties began to fail him to fail him one by one; he had no permanent companion to cling on for support, solace and reassurance. That was the time he wished so badly that his wife was around to share the pains of old age. His eyes used to swell with tears each time he talked about the darling in his life. He used to repeatedly say, “if only my wife was around, I will not be here.”

I learnt a lot about the past from my meetings with him, about life at the time of the British and the Japanese occupation, his family and all his experiences over the past 86 years. As I myself grow older, and my children leaving home one by one, I seem to appreciate his experiences much more as they are becoming increasingly more relevant in my own life. I look around and see that many more leading such solitude lives without a shoulder to lean on for solace. Are we heading for such lonely lives in the years to come? Only time will tell but is frightening to think we may be so.

Punctuality

Among some of the things that struck me first on meeting Uncle Paul was his neatly groomed appearance and his punctuality. Every time I make an appointment to meet him he is ready waiting for me, neatly dressed in slacks, long sleeved shirt and polished shoes. According to his caretaker he used to wake up and get ready hours earlier and sit in the porch eagerly waiting for my arrival. He never failed to greet me as soon as he sees me. I could sense the warmth in his voice and the grip of his handshake.Depite his failing memory he would remember the details of children and never once failed to enquire about them each time we met.

His punctuality puts many of us to shame as we have very little regards for time and people these days. Punctuality is an indication of our eagerness to meet someone and it reflects the place we accord him in our hearts. I understand if we value somebody’s company then we would never be late to meet him as our minds will always be preoccupied with thoughts of that person. These days very few people value the true company of others unless they have something to gain and that may be the reasons why we are always late for appointments. We tend to value a person by his material possession not by the contents of his heart. We seem to have lost the human touch in our dealings with fellow men.

Living steadfast to his father’s advice

Another interesting thing I learnt from Uncle Paul was his attitude towards his late parents that was reflected in his advice to the youngsters of today. He remembered and cherished what his father had advised him when he was working in the government service as a young man.

He recalled his father’s strong stand against corruption. He remembered what his late father had told him, “If you are in dire need of money, you may borrow or even beg for it but never accept bribes however desperate you may be”.

He adhered to his father’s advised so strictly that he could not afford to own his own house and lived in government quarters all his life. At the twilight years of his life he did not have a place to call home and had to settle for an old folk’s home as his abode. It was the price he had to pay for being steadfast in submitting to his father’s stand against corruption.

Advice to the young

When asked for his advice to the youngsters of today, who have little respect for the elderly, he said, “They should honor their father and mother and everything else will be fine”. Reflecting on what he said and recalling the experiences with many, I realized how right he was. He may be old and senile but he pushed forward a point about a very important issue in our lives, honoring our parents, which I agree determines to a great extent whether we attain the happiness we all strive for. If we miss this important lesson then all our efforts to seek that happiness will all be in vain.

To honor our parents is not just providing food and shelter, but to show great respect for them especially for their pride, honesty and the principles for which they stood steadfast. Do the actions in our own lives reflect this honor that is due to them? We must always do things that uphold their pride and honor; otherwise we would be failing them.

We make many major decisions in our lives, like choosing our life partners; change of career, travelling to distant land, caring for our children, major illnesses and so on. Do we consult them, at least as a mark of respect, regarding these major changes in our lives? They may not be in a position to give us the physical or monetary help but I am sure they can give us something that all the money in the world cannot buy – advice based on personal experience. Unfortunately this invaluable commodity is the least we value these days.

Giving what they like

Often we give our elderly parents what we think they like, not realizing their true likes and dislikes. As children we believe that we are giving them the best by sending them to the old folk’s home where they have the company and are well catered for their needs. It is pertinent to ask ourselves whether they are really happy to be there. Do they need the company of others who are strangers and physically infirm? Is this what they need most at that advanced age?

They may say that they are happy there because they do not want to burden us further which is the typical sense of magnanimity of all elderly parents towards their children; however negligent or even cruel the children may be to them the parents will always have a soft spot for them in their hearts.

Loneliness, the greatest fear

Uncle Paul’s greatest fear, like all elderly people, was loneliness. This was particularly profound after the demise of his wife 20 years ago. He had the feeling that he was all alone in this cruel world. It was pathetic to realize that at the age of 86, staying in a home for the aged and surrounded by unfamiliar faces, he had very little to hope for during the final months of his life except waiting to be united with his wife which the Lord finally did.

Uncle Paul may not be around anymore but his memories and the lessons from his experiences live on in the hearts of those who know him. He and many others like him give us the opportunity to provide them a little hope and cheer in their lives, if not every day, but least during special days like Father’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries and so on. It is not money, gifts or food that they need most. All they yearn for is the love of fellow humans like you and I, in particular his children and grandchildren, to unselfishly share a little bit of our time to be with them during these special days in their lives.
As Christians we spend many hours in prayer and worship but ignore those around us not realizing that God actually dwells in these people. People like Paul should remind us that Jesus indeed lives in them not in the majestic churches we visit to pray in and the rituals we perform in our worship. We must recall what Jesus himself taught us “In as much as you have done it to one of the least of these my brothers, you have done it to me.” (Mathew 25:34-40).

Dr.Chris Anthony
June 17, 2009

On this Father’s day I would like to share an invaluable advice that was given to me by an elderly father in his eighties prior to his death recently. This gentleman, was once a senior government servant, spent his final days of his life in an old folk’s home, lonely and homeless.

According to him, his father was so strongly against bribery and his advice to him was, “If you are dire need of money, you may borrow or even beg for it but never accept bribes however desperate you may be”. As a young government servant he followed his father’s advice very strictly to the extent he could not afford to own his own house and lived in government quarters all his life.

At the age of 86, he was alone and physically fit, but he did not have a place to call home and had to settle for an old folk’s home as his abode. It was the price he had to pay, which he did not regret, for being steadfast in submitting to his father’s stand against corruption.

This simple but true story made me realize the tremendous influence a father could have on his children. There are many like this old man who hold steadfast to the example and advice of their fathers. If only all fathers could influence their children in the right way, the world would be a much better place for all.

Similarly all our fathers too would have left behind some legacy that we as children treasure till our final days in life. We may not follow their advice to the fullest but their words get deeply imprinted in our minds and remain as a conscience in our hearts for years to come. Consciously or otherwise we are guided by the words and deeds of our fathers in whatever we do.

My late father, although he didn’t have much wealth or power, impressed on me that we should never compromise on our principles for the sake of material gain. His simple advice and examples in life remains vividly in mind till today. Although they did not mean much when I was young but today, being a father myself, I seem to appreciate them much more and likewise I am sure my children will also be looking up to me.

Today corruption, disregard for law and order, immorality and racial intolerance are the greatest evils facing nations all over. People from all walks of life, from the top politician to the ordinary man on the street, are willing to do anything for monetary gains.
Selfishness and greed seem to have taken the upper hand in ruling the hearts of men. In this pursuit of material wealth there is no place for compassion and empathy for fellow men. Christ is totally excluded from our lives as he only seen to be in rituals and form not substance. He has become irrelevant to our materialistic culture.

It is undeniable that our fathers had played a very important role in shaping our destiny and for being what we are today. On this father’s day as we express our love gratitude to our fathers, it may be equally important to reflect on our own role as fathers. Are carrying out our responsibilities as a good and exemplary father? Let us ponder on the legacy that we may be leaving behind. What we do today goes a long way to shape the future generation. Let us ask ourselves whether we are the right role model for our children. Are we setting the right examples for them to emulate?

Our nation has reached a critical stage in race relations that has deteriorated over the years. As fathers we can help to arrest and reverse this unhealthy trend by sowing the seeds of sound values, morality, goodwill and love for fellow men in the hearts of our children.

Let us show them by our words and actions that we, despite our racial and religious divide, are all children of God and must learn to live together in peace and harmony, sharing the common brotherhood of humanity.

Dr.Chris Anthony